Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Fer Gawd's Sake, Quit'cher Whinin'!

All right - enough self-indulgence.  It is time to do what is necessary.  Just shut up and do it, Irene.  What's your problem, anyway??   (No, don't answer that!  Just re-read the first three sentences!)   Time is running out, and frankly, all this pontification is getting boring.  So c'mon - move!  Move!  Move!  And put down that second piece of toast!

Truly, I think I've spent too much time sympathizing with the petulant little girl inside of me, the one yelling "I don't wanna!" and "It's not my fault!" instead of simply facing reality.  Well you know, kid, things are tough all over.  Now put on your running shoes and get out there!  Time to get tough.   And  so I've been doing for the past week or so.  I'm exercising more consistently lately, thanks in part to my sweetie who has come over to join me in jogs around my neighborhood and G-Ball workouts in the basement.  I'm keeping a closer eye on what and how much I'm eating, too.   Thursdays are my weigh-in days now, so we'll see tomorrow if the numbers are heading south again. If not, I'll just keep going even harder.  I know what to do. 

I had an interesting talk with my hypnosis counselor on Monday.  We get personalized sessions every 4 weeks or so, where we discuss our progress or lack thereof, and then have a 30-minute hypnosis session which is recorded for us to listen to at home.  I began by telling her about my fears and conflicts about weight, basically what I wrote in my last blog entry.  She was surprisingly unsympathetic.  It took me aback a little, though I realized her reaction was exactly what I needed.  I've been in this program for about nine months now, and I only have one more month left.  I'm only down about 15 pounds since I started.  And why?  In reality, have I been thinking and behaving like a thin person does?  Not really, no.  In truth, I stopped going to the weekly group sessions because "I was too busy."   (Actually, I decided they weren't worth the drive down there.)  She also pointed out that a slow metabolism and hormones are no doubt playing a role in all this, and people in my situation need 30 minutes of  vigorous exercise, five times per week, minimum.  That's right.  She's right, and I haven't been doing that - at least not consistently.   Let's face it - living a healthy life takes work, and sometimes it's really hard, not to mention inconvenient. 

I have to make a commitment and stick to it.  I've been giving lip-service to that concept (boy, I'm good at self-delusion.... !), but the actual commitment hasn't been there.  I've broken it just about every time I've hit a bump in the road, or had some reason to "celebrate" something with too much food, drink, or lazing around.  Yes, in the end, it all comes down to me and what I do.  Period.  And so I'll do it.   Today I start with an egg white and an apple for breakfast.  Then later I'm doing two short ab workouts, and in the evening I'll walk my dog.  Every day this week I'll do a different kind of exercise, which is necessary to trick a slow metabolism into revving its engines.  Yes, I do know, and have known, what to do. Time to do it! I can do it!


Corwin8or said...

"She was surprisingly unsympathetic." It always is a surprise, isn't it, when our carefully crafted backstories don't pass a person's BS sniff test. The personal histories we use to explain away our struggles are very real to us, and usually contain at least SOME truth. But as you point out, what's past is past, and often is of little value going forward.

Another great post, Irene...and it sounds like a breakthrough!

Stephanie Frieze said...

Isn't it surprising how creative we can be to get around doing what needs to be done? Putting that energy in getting us down the road is the tough nut to crack because it's not much fun.

In our defense, I truly believe that 21st century life is way too busy and that, for all the gadgets and time saving devices we are addicted to, there doesn't seem to be more time for the things that nourish our souls. How do we simplify life?