Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Queen of "da-Nile"

That's right - it ain't just a river in Egypt.  And man, don't I know it.  I guess it's time to get back to the subject of weight loss. Frankly, I'd rather write about death and sex some more, but what can you do ...?  This is supposed to be a chronicle of how I overcame the fat life.  Fat?  Me?  Oh, yeah.  I almost forgot. (dang!)

Tomorrow we leave for Peoria to gather at my dad's for his annual "fake birthday" party.  It occurs to me that I wrote about this event two years ago, shortly after I'd started this blog.   August, 2009 - two flippin' years ago!  What have I been doing with all this time?   I've been doing a lot, actually.  It's so easy to put my priorities elsewhere.  When it comes to keeping myself occupied, I truly excel.  I can distract myself with all sorts of wonderful, challenging, and rewarding endeavors.  I am the Queen of  Distraction, the Duchess of Rationalization, and the Viscountess of "Absolutely, First Thing Tomorrow."   I've been doing about everything except losing weight. 

It's sad.  When I began this blog, I thought the public nature of it would keep me accountable in my weight loss efforts, and as I went along, I could share the emotional difficulties I have with the process and topic as a whole.  The sharing part was easy, fun, and therapeutic; writing is something I always enjoy.  But the weight loss part, well ... not so much.   In fact, as I have made abundantly clear, I hate the entire business of weight loss and everything that goes with it.   The whole subject makes me squirm with boredom and resentment.  Whenever I'm in a room with people and someone starts discussing this-or-that diet, I feel like getting up and saying, Excuse me.  I'm going to go hit myself over the head with a shovel.    Honestly, I'd rather discuss dryer lint.

But I can't walk away from myself and the reality of my weight problem.  Two years ago, I honestly believed that I was going to tackle this issue once and forever - finally!    Instead, I engaged in another series of false starts and stumbles.  Sigh.  So all right - no more denial, no more dinking around.  Mea cupla. I'm 50 now and my body is rebelling against all this extra weight.  My back and joints hurt.  I know what to do; I just have to do it.   I appreciate everyone's patience.  Now I want to earn your faith and respect, not to mention my own.  It's time to make losing weight my absolute, number one priority.   Come on, Irene.  Let's do it!

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